Details are coming together for our fourth "Jam the Gym"! Here is what we know.
Date: Weds., Sept. 4th, 2013
Time: Varsity match starts at 6
Two Matches: High School-Kiski Area vs. Connellsville
 College-Point Park vs. Carlow
As in years past, many games, prizes, and give-aways! We purposefully scheduled our event on a Wednesday night to get the maximum amount of participation from our supportive base of local high school volleyball programs. If you haven't been to Jam the Gym in our previous 3 years come join us! Help us celebrate the opening of another exciting season of volleyball, Western Pennsylvania style! The ever popular Jam the Gym t-shirt will be on sale that night! Here is how it will look this year!

 The GooGoo Dolls "Rebel Beat" is a song that we have identified as meaningful to our program.  It will be "celebrated" for the first time after the varsity match at Jam the Gym!

When Ellen finally got the chance to return to her alma mater to coach the sport she grew up loving, there was one thing that had to be done quickly. Fill out the coaching staff. I was first on board. I've always enjoyed being a part of Ellen's volleyball experience. She has graciously allowed me to "come along for the ride" everywhere she has coached. I'll be the first one to tell you, volleyball wouldn't be the first sport on my list I feel comfortable coaching, and it's really not even close, but I have enjoyed my 30 years of tagging along, and after that much time some of the concepts and strategies have stuck. I'd never pretend to know enough, but I am an eager learner! So, we were off. At our first open gym, a new graduate from St. Vincent strolled in. I should say, waltzed in. Jaime Vick Moran had a stride that at once exuded confidence and grace. There was something wonderful about her, and we recognized it immediately. Being a new grad, Jaime was looking to get her foot in the door, and an upper hand for a teaching position in the district. She was young and energetic, a perfect fit for this new program. She also had this incredible story of battling Leukemia twice in her young life. We knew that her determination and courage would be a valuable asset too. Jaime Moran would be our first Assistant Coach. A week or so later, Ellen bumped into one of her original players from her days at Plum High School. Dan Clair was at JV middle hitter/setter in 1982. He expressed interest in coming out to some open gyms. He must have enjoyed it. I don't think he has missed much since. Every year Dan tells us he isn't sure how much he'll be able to do. Every year he's the first one in the gym, has the nets set up and has the team ready for camp! Kiski Area Volleyball is where it is because of the dedication of Dan Clair! The first few years where a struggle. It's hard to turn around a sport that was "recreational", just a place to hang out, for so long. We could get one or two good athletes to play well enough, but it wasn't enough to translate into team success. Slowly though, a few girls bought in. The change happens when they start believing they are "Volleyball players" and not just athletes playing volleyball. By the third year we started to feel like we could contend in the section. October 2009. Last match at Franklin Regional. One more bus ride. A phone call. A diagnoses. A world suddenly turned upside down. Cancer does this, everyday, every minute to someone. I remember Ellen calling me. I remember gathering our kids, delivering what seemed like the worst news possible. I remember that it seemed to take forever to get to Murrysville. I remember finding Ellen on a swingset outside Franklin Regional High School. We all hugged and cried. She wanted to coach that night, so she did. The weeks that followed were a blur of appointments, surgery, treatments and healing. Ellen was luckily strong going in. At 48 she was in great shape due to the riggers of being a Physical Education instructor and so totally immersed in every practice at Kiski. I'm not sure we were prepared for the drastic nature of a partial gastrectomy and difficult treatmenmt regimine. Ellen lost nearly 1/3 of her body weight during this time. It was frightening to witness her rapid change. Mouth sores and nausea were a big issue, and when you are already dealing with less of an appetite, well I can tell you I was scared. After six months of treatments and healing it was time for open gyms to begin. Jaime and Dan began the process of readying the team. I would bring Ellen to the gym, and she really loved being around the kids again, getting stronger, and coaching verbally. Jaime was using the open gym format to introduce the girls to her favorite workout, the intense "P90X". She loved Tony Horton! Jaime was in the best shape of her life, and the girls really liked going through some of the moves with her. They were well aware of Jaime's couragous story, and it inspired them to want to please her with their efforts. Even without Ellen Physically able to participate, Kiski volleyball was in good hands. Just when our team had settled into what was their new reality, another change was thrust at them. It was during the spring open gyms, while showing the girls one of the P90X moves that Jaime began noticing bruising on her hips. I think she knew almost immediately that something wasn't right. She went back to Children's Hospital(where she had received treatments the first two times) where tests confirmed her fears. Jaime's leukemia had come back. This news hit us so hard. Jaime had battled all the way back and was just beginning to hit her stride as an adult. She was enjoying teaching, coaching and planning her wedding. Things were so good. Jaime had spearheaded two fundraisers for Ellen, so we really wanted to do something special for her. We knew our community would support anything we would do, so making volleyball a part of it seemed like a natural idea. Jam the Gym 4 Jaime was born. It was an idea Jodie McCartney and I had. Jodie is Jaime's twin sister. She had also taken over the team with Dan while Ellen healed up and Jaime started her treatments. To be continued.

I got an e-mail today, and I really wanted to share it with you here on the blog.  It was from Jaime's Aunt Dayna, who is Head Women's Basketball Coach at Cornell University.  It is testament to how powerful the good in our world is, so powerful that it continues after we're gone.  

Wanted to share a little news with you.  Our Men’s assistant soccer coach just stopped by to chat.  When Jaime relapsed the second time we had a Be the Match Drive in connection with a hockey event.  Josh organized it…Debbie and Cindy worked it.  We had a great response.  We had put out a flier about Jaime and a lot of people were tested.  Joe (the soccer coach) was so touched about what he read regarding Jaime that he came to the drive. 

Joe was identified as a match  2 weeks ago to a 13 year old boy.  Somewhere in Europe…nurse said he loves soccer too.  Joe went Wednesday for the marrow extract and the marrow was sent overnight overseas.  The little boy had his transplant on Thursday.  Joe stopped by to tell me if it wasn’t for Jaime he wouldn’t even know about marrow transplants, would have never be swabbed and would never had been able to help this boy.  He said he thought of Jaime the whole time.

Just wanted to share this with all of you.  Jaime still touches so many.  Her fight and spirit will inspire other for years to come…and hopefully it will save some lives.  Jaime made me smile today.  Thought you all would like in on it.

God Bless Coach Joe, The little soccer player, and Jaime Vick Moran!!!

The students at the Kiski Area Intermediate School produced a terrific video about our story, and the #EllenonEllen movement.  It is an honor to share it here on our blog!  Please watch it, rate it and share it with as many people as you can.  When Ellen is well she will be ready to tell the world our inspiring story!

http://whatsyourstory.trendmicro.com/vote-entry/598#.UWqCbcr74B4.twitter

Keep Coach Ellen Toy in your prayers, as she recovers from her latest surgery.

Thanks,

Tim

Ellen Toy is more than a coach to me; she is someone who I admire. I remember when I first met her in 7^th grade volleyball, I was scared of her. I did everything that I could to not mess up in front of her. Once I got a chance to talk to her during practice, I found out that I had no reason to be scared.
 She was such a nice person and she truly loved coaching volleyball. During 7^th and 8^th grade, my team practiced with her often. I got to know her better throughout my season, and she inspired me to try out for the high school JV team. Believe it or not, I made the high school JV team as a freshman. Ellen was the coach for varsity, so I was not one of her players yet. At the PITT Summer Volleyball Camp my sophomore year, I was practicing with JV and I heard Ellen say, “Rach, come over here and play.” When she said those six words, I immediately ran over to her with a smile on my face. I was finally on varsity with Ellen as my coach.

            Ellen was diagnosed in October 2010 with Signet Ring Cancer, also known as Gastric Cancer. Signet Ring Cancer does not manifest itself in large tumors; it destroys tissue at the cellular level. She fought her hardest to try and beat the cancer, and that made her admirable to me. Ellen is honestly the strongest woman I have ever met. Soon after she defeated her cancer, Jaime Moran, my other coach, was diagnosed for the third time with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. The whole time Jaime was battling her cancer, Ellen was not only there for Jaime, but for the whole volleyball team. When Ellen told us that Jaime’s days were numbered, everyone was crying and upset. Ellen was there hugging each and every one of us and telling us that it was going to be okay. When my bestfriend Jenna Prusia died in December, Ellen was once again the rock for the whole team. She opened her front door for anyone who simply wanted to talk, cry or needed a place to go. On February 25, 2013, Ellen told us that her cancer had returned. She is going to have to go through the battle again, but she is ready to fight. She is unbreakable. I admire her honesty, braveness, courage, strength, beauty, and her love for everyone in her life. I feel blessed to have Ellen Toy in my life and as my volleyball coach.

By: Rachel Frye

Written: March 19^th, 2013

After I finished "There's Nothing in The Coaches Manual", I was really prepared to move forward, maybe do a few more "Guest Blogger" spots and write something positive about what we've been through.  It was time.  Our team has been surrounded by sadness for far to long.  Ellen and I talked about how we needed to find positive forces and images to help all of us back onto the court.

One of the ideas we came up with was a "celebration song" kind of like "Sweet Caroline" after the third quarter at Pitt games.  We felt like, win or lose, this coming season we needed to recognize the one important lesson we came away with was everyday is a gift that deserves celebration!  

The next thing to do was...

Find a song.

I had a few in mind.  Much of the new music I have been listening to has a kind of pepped up, folksy, Irish rock sort of feel.  The kind of song you might learn the chorus too.  The song that makes you at least tap your foot, and at most stomp your feet.  Lots of songs fit this, many were considered, then ONE stood out.

The Goo Goo Dolls new song, "Rebel Beat"

The song has that catchy beat, but what really struck us we're the lyrics.

Like the Goo Goo's knew what we needed to hear.

We keep heading in the same direction
You become my own reflection
Is that your soul that you’re trying to protect
I always hoped that we would intersect, yeah

Give me time to cope and time to heal
Time to cry if it’s what you feel
Oh, life can hope, when it gets too real
I can hold you up when it’s hard to feel

Alive, alive
Alive is all I wanna feel
Tonight, tonight
I need to be where you are
I need to be where you are

Hey you, look around
Can you hear that noise, it’s a rebel sound
We got nowhere else to go

And when the sun goes down and we fill the streets
You’re gonna dance till the morning to the rebels beat
You can take everything from me
‘Cause this is all I need

You know that life is like a ticking clock
Nobody knows when it’s gonna stop, yeah
Before I’m gone I need to touch someone
With a word, with a kiss, with a decent song yeah
And it gets lonely when you live out loud
When the truth that you seek isn’t in this crowd
You better find your voice, better make it loud
We’re gonna burn that fire, or we’ll just burn out

http://www.googoodolls.com/rebelbeat/

We had our song, it had a happy beat, and words that resounded the story we found ourselves in.  This would be how we would close our home matches, win or lose.
Celebration!  We would dance our way back...

On Friday, February 15th Ellen had a routine endoscopy scheduled.  The kind of test we have become used to, to the point where we kidded each other about the "quality nap" that it provided.  After the test, Ellen's gastric doctor delivered the same report as usual.  Nothing worrisome on the camera, just took a few samples to biopsy.  We left the hospital feeling good. After three years of these tests, they have become easier to do, and the worry that had been present after the first few was finally gone. 

I have on many occasions described cancer as a murderer you never feared because he wasn't after you.  Once he enters your life, he won't stop stalking you.  You fear him.  He waits, in the darkness, maybe around the next corner.  We let our guard down.  He sneaked back in...

On February 23rd, two days before Ellen's 52nd Birthday, we got a troubling voicemail at home.
Hello Ellen,
This is the doctors office calling.
The doctor needs to speak to you. 
His cell number is...

The murderer is back.
In a lot of ways this is harder this time.  Maybe it's because we now know how hard it was the first time.  Maybe it's the enormousness of what we had been through in the last seven months.  My wife is this incredible human.  She is readying to go at this hard again.  On most days she is the one holding me up.  I am weary of the events of the past four years.  I hurt for her.  I want her well and whole.  I can't understand how so much has gone so wrong.  I worry for our kids.  I worry for our players.  I worry for me.

On the day of her latest procedure, a laproscopic look at her abdominal region to see if the cancer had spread there, Ellen had me laughing.  That's what she does.  She isn't the classic "bad ass", but she is more of one than I'll ever be.  My wife, Ellen Jane Toy, is in fact, a card carrying 'Bad Ass".

The test of her abdomen came back with no cancer activity, and so it is thought that the disease is confined to her stomach.  There will be surgery, likely soon, to remove most or all of what remains of it.
We are ready to except the challenges to come.  We know that with the prayers and support of our families, teams, and community God will see us through this too.

I really, really wanted to write about something positive, so I'll close with this.

Ellen's players, students, and friends have started an unlikely drive to have our story told.  They have chosen to take to Twitter, using the hashtag #EllenonEllen and the account @EllenonEllen to get the attention of The Ellen Show.  The effect has been incredible!  This blog saw a spike(volleyball jargon) is viewership of 600%!  I don't know if we have got Ellen DeGeneres's attention, but our story has been seen by nearly 3,000 people, literally around the world, in the past two days!  If you do twitter, support this effort.

Also, check out the Ellen on Ellen Blog at

http://www.ellenonellenkavb.blogspot.com/

Gracie McDermott has done a terrific job telling this story from a players perspective.  We are emboldened by these efforts, and can't wait to tell our story to the world.

Please keep us all in your prayers.

Tim

About a year ago, a package arrived in the mail for Ellen.  It was a gift from a former player, Jennifer McDowell.  Jenny has made volleyball her life.  After graduating from Plum High School,( and winning the PA state championship in her senior season) Jenny went on to play all four years at the University of Georgia, then Assistant Coach under her Head Coach at Georgia, Sid Feldman.  She accepted the Head Coaching job at Emory University in Atlanta in 1996.  In 16 seasons she has compiled a record of 512-128!  The gift made Ellen very proud!  It was Jenny's first book, a book of creative and competitive volleyball drills.  It would add more weight to the already bulky book bag Ellen carries to practice everyday.  Her backpack is filled with other drill books and handouts from clinics and camps she has attended.  She has made a habit of keeping as much of this accumulated information as that blue book bag can hold.  It must weigh 35lbs!  Add to that the experience gained by someone who has been coaching high school volleyball for 30 years.  Ellen has come up with a few innovations of her own, notably the "Setter's Box" employed to stop Kristy O'Hara from dropping her hands to her sides before and after setting, and the "Wrist Fusion" taping Jordan King's hands together, preventing her from playing balls with one hand.  Both of these inventions worked!  It would seem, Ellen had all the answers.

With all the combined knowledge contained in this hulking bookbag, and three decades of volleyball coaching, one would think there wasn't any question we couldn't answer.  Yet, with the challenges presented in the last four years, and particularly in the last four months, it seems totally insufficient.

How does a team deal with a coach battling cancer?

How do they respond to BOTH coaches in treatment?

How can you help them with their grief when they lose a coach to cancer?

What do you say when a beautiful young teammate is lost in an accident?

Any single one of these instances would derail any team, but all of them?

There's nothing in the coaches manual to help deal with this...

Every year, and I mean every year, we meet our team in the spring for the start of open gyms.  Open gyms are supposed to be where we can reinforce good skill habits, eliminate bad ones, engage in some gameplay, and learn little things about the team and the kids as individuals.  It is during this time, when we bond with these players.  Coaching this sport, and I'm sure most sports is like adding 30 more kids to your own family.  The kids on our team have rallied through the illnesses of their coaches, and they truly have become extensions of our actual families.  Texts and e-mails updating them on treatments and conditions, the ups and downs of what we had on our plate.  As in actual family members there was total disclosure on what was going on.   That's what made the news of late June so very difficult.  We received word, while at team camp at Pitt, that just a few miles down the road at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh, our beautiful beloved young Assistant Coach, Jaime Moran, was losing her almost 12 year battle with leukemia.  Breaking this news to the kids was so terrible, but they had to find out from us.  We had to stay together on this.

Jaime left us on August 6th, 2012.  She fought cancer from the age of 14, and now at 26, her body could no longer take the rigors of aggressive treatment.  We gathered the kids at the high school, we talked, and cried, and prayed.  Jaime will leave and indelible mark on these kids.  Her grace, under the most difficult of situations was unmatched.  She showed them courage.  She showed them faith.  Her lessons on this will be with us forever.

I have never had a death in my life like this.  Understand that I made Jaime a priority in my life. .   Her condition, on any given day, dictated my emotions.  I NEVER prayed as fervently for anything in my entire life.  I gave platelets on at least ten occasions, and it helped that Jaime seemed to do well with my platelets.  I tied Jaime's survival to my own daily life.  There wasn't anytime during my day when I wasn't wondering how she was.  The day I met Jaime for the first time, I knew there was something special about her.  She reeled you in with those pretty eyes, and she won you over with that unbelievable smile.  If that wasn't enough(it was for me!) she was as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside.  Jaime was the ONE who I wanted to fight for the most, because I recognized this incredible gift she had, and we needed her HERE.  That's what made her passing most difficult for me.  My faith was severely challenged.

 How could God not see what it is I have?  How could He get this so terribly wrong?  They say that we aren't privy to the plan, but how could this be part of the plan?  It was just unfathomable to me that He ask so much of this particular servant.  I don't think Jaime ever lost faith, but I had.  I talked with so may of my friends about this, consulted my most faith filled friends, and nobody could reach me.  I had no idea, the person who could have helped me the most was near me all along.  Sadly it took losing her to get me back.

Jenna Prusia possessed all of the attributes I have described in Jaime.  Pretty eyes, a winning smile, and personality that matched her outer beauty.  I never knew that while I was hurting so badly over Jaime's death, Jenna prayed for me.  She prayed for all of us, that we might find strength and renewed faith in Jesus.  

That's what makes Jenna's passing so tragic and personal.  I cannot get past the idea that she had to die so young, with so much to give the world.  It hurts so bad to watch her friends and teammates struggle with the emotions of losing someone so special to them.  At the same time, I recognize the lessons in her short life.

I have never seen the kind of INTENSE faith possessed in anyone, let alone a 16 year old.  I believe as the Pastor said, I have never known anyone so assuredly headed to God's right hand.  I also understand that should I be next, can the same thing be said of me?  I've got work to do...

I want to say, to the Prusia's, Jenna's dad Duane and her mom Vicki, her big brother Jared, and her twin sister Ashton, thank you for sharing the journal.  It is an inspiration to me and many others, and has helped us  in dealing with this tragedy.   To her friends and teammates, remind yourselves often of the lessons learned in our shared experiences, and especially in the faith of your dear friend.  She was indeed special!

So where do we go from here, when we can't find the answers we seek in the book bag or coaches manual? 

Maybe we search within ourselves, find a level of faith we didn't know existed.  Maybe we hold close to our friends, talk with them, seek their input.  Maybe we write our own manual or journal as it were, maybe it can someday help others dealing with trouble in their lives.  We have hurdles left to clear, but I assure you, neither Jaime or Jenna would want us to stand around staring at them for too long.  We will clear them together, I have FAITH.

Photo credit to Amy Myers for the incredible picture of Jenna.